HOW TO BECOME HALF OF A GAY COUPLE WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT: (1) Constantly "date" lesbians even though you passionately loathe lesbianism more than life itself. (2) "Sleep" with lesbians, I mean really just sleep with them. (3) Move in with a lesbian without putting the moves on her. (4) Adopt the undeniable habits of a butch lesbian without telling anyone except your Siamese twin if you have one.