if i meant nothing to you the w
indows are not my friends and
the wind hits me my response i
s always 'ow! so who was i to
begin with? broken, disgusted
with this man made tragedy c
alled * l i f e * and who was i to
begin with? holden caulfield or
dead, perhaps, or said as you s
peak of me in past tense and i
speak of you with tenseness of
the neuron you are always smi
ling in my mind and you are al
ways smiling for someone else a
nd you never cry for me and as y
ou fade in the physical you becom
e the ghost inside of me haunting
every waking moment and dream
s. and dreams, for godsakes, drea
ms. i was never your other half bu
t you were mine - and i am looking o
utwards for solutions because the insi
de has been lampooned scorched eart
h history no longer eats me alive, you
are not dead - but you are not alive i
nside my head - you simply gaze and
smile and i know that smile is not for
me - he thrusts his throbbing **** ba
ck inside and you forget me with ever
y heaving breath and every successful
****** - i map the categories of a boo
kstore and the crevasses of my mind on
ly to find you with every corner turned
and every door i open.