i sit in the lush grass and stare up at this beautiful monstrosity
i think about how old it might be and how it feels in its old age
lightly leaning my palm against the tough bark  scratching my hand
my eyes search the tree, studying how the gnarled arms are seemly bent wrong
how it looks like it’s had to rebuild itself, the way the trunk swivels, almost like it’s had to rebuild itself and came out wrong
i lean my forehead near the giant hole in the middle staring into the dark abyss
and i sorrowfully apologize
because i too know what it feels like
all the hurt and betrayal turning into angry brokenness and a hole where the heart belongs
silent tears track down my face and i softly whisper
you are not alone