Don't mistake my nostalgia for reminiscing,
Don't tell me all of my guilt is masked by all of his faults.
Because I am also to blame.
Though,
Feeling guilt does not make someone guilty,
Feigning innocence does not make someone innocent.
This is not a victimless crime,
But I cannot sit here and call myself victim
Without explaining to you what I put him through too.
I can't preach to you as a survivor
When the wounds I carry are just as deep as the ones I caused.