Truth be known it will probably be from the cradle to the grave before it's all said and done. Either way I am telling you straight that I am not the ******* one. Issues I have a ******* ton. Yet I have just barely begun. I am not better than anyone and better than me there is none. My light won't shine any brighter if I was to ***** out your flame. To try and destroy others is not my game. I am not sane going crazy, I am only crazy when I go sane. The details now are getting more difficult for me to retain. I am broken beautifully and controlled by what's left of my left -sided brain. Who the **** am I too ******* complain.  My turmoil and tranquility mix just like my pleasure and my pain.
From my tragic skies I am falling freely
Or is it freely falling the nefarious shadows are calling
These spirits are stalling
From these drugs I am withdrawing
Once again that inevitable has been delayed. As the creatures I conjure, they betray. Night terrors rock me in the middle of the day leaving me speechless I have nothing left up to say
Instead of being good at it I'll  at least try to behave what I'm feeling is not to  be displayed.
Listening quietly to the wind serenade think I might have incited a a ******* riot. For the voices In my head have gone quiet.
Go  On I dare you to try it don't dare deny it. Someone's coming lie hid
Til the flames are ignited. **** I think that I'm getting excited I am **** near delighted  my wrongs now about to be righted expedited apart we are divided together we stand United
Let someone come in uninvited and **** will get a little one sided
Oh wait all of this is contained in my brain
In all reality I'm pushing through the pain it's enough to drive a sane person crazy and a crazy person sane. I don't have blue eyes so I am not a blue eyed ***** crying in the rain. I am explicit and profane. I talk to these spirits from a totally different plane it's hard to explain when the thoughts are just rattling around inside my brain
I am still here unscathed integrity intact  how did I do this that in fact chaos and calamity I attract I'm a **** magnet to be exact braced myself for the impact
A life changing transformation  
Once Beautifully broken now a recreation grand All done by God's hand.  All along he must have had it planned. Now I think I'm beginning to understand.
It's his will not mine, mine gets me into an escalating situation every time. To error is human to forgive devine. What was lost in me he did find
Today I stop to just breathe and pray
It's actually a much better way. I do finally believe that I'm going to be okay. I flickered like a flame going out but I wasn't blown away.