It was fine at first--
unnoticeable, or rather better hidden
but it became something deliberate and somewhat cold
a curling ball of something akin to shame tucked beneath my rib cage
I find I do not pity you

as days turned to weeks turned to months of petty not-words
passive aggressive shoulder keeping me at a distance
friendship unneeded and clearly not wanted

I owe to you the tenseness of my shoulders
the quieting of my voice,
the diminishment of my presence

and I thought; or more so rather hoped, that my talking to you would have changed things for the better
instead, I find us back where we started--strangers with no intent of being more than

I work with you when scheduled,
but your name brings a foul taste to my mouth--
it hurts to know I am the odd one out
square one
like a child alone again on the playground

I will sit on the swings
awaiting the push