My heart starts
panic attacking
my nervous system
fighting
or
fleeing
or
freezing
impulses
OCD stacking
breaths
count them
one through ten
then back again

To this very moment
where it's coming together

I haven't eaten anything
All **** day
is what it feels like

I swear I'm not this weak

My racing thoughts are just paused on
******* falling apart
at any moment

Shuffled
until I'm present

Her
touch
tapping
tips
of my fingers
grounding
all my
impulses
and
channeling
my
transgressions

Until we are one
breath
counted back again