My friend at Wal-Mart let me into the inventory warehouse where they keep the products people kept returning and I found them – the Quantum Binoculars beautifully handcrafted with seamless joinings glove-soft leather grips polished to a glisten with a big red switch at the top.
Switch it left to Bourgeois View and you see the world as most people do through lenses of logic and contradiction happy and/or sad right and wrong young or old rich and/or poor but there isn’t enough room in the field of view to hold all this conflict and when you look through it too long everything goes fuzzy gray and your eyes start to cross and you get the headache of the century. which is why everybody who used Bourgeois View wanted a refund for the binoculars regretting their purchase terrible product they would say never having bothered to flip the switch.
Flip right to Quantum View and your headache disappears as every person, place and thing pulsates with vibrant rainbow color brightening, shading, winking expanding and contracting rhythmically in a hypnotic dance and nobody has to purchase or sell and the mountainous toy robot displays and the Special Today Only neon signs and the shoppers and greeters morph and the milieu turns glorious.
Then you see a tiny point of intense blue light in the center of each object and it grows and starts to spin and the next thing you know you’re being pulled into the viewfinder first by your eyes then your cheeks and forehead and you think uh-oh, what’s going on here and you’re reluctant to let the eyepiece **** you in any farther but then you hear angelic music and the blue lights crack open like supernovas revealing the infinite molecular structure inside everything you see electrons and neutrinos spinning atoms racing across the panorama and you realize you absolutely must take this wonderful machine home.
Imagine the quantum universe hiding inside Wal-Mart’s inventory chaos calm and rhythmic instead of razory and cacophonous soft shapes with vibrating edges scenes arising and passing away and you watch entranced mindful and equanimous as the view transports you past the electric sliding glass doors into the auditory memory of your mother’s soft lullaby and the innocent tenderness of your first kiss and the smell of the grass on the last day of school before summer vacation and images of big silver trout in clear water and Jesus and Buddha and Mohammed and Rumi drinking lattes in the Wal-Mart coffee shot and they see you and wave you over to come sit down and chat.
So you ask your friend how much for the binoculars and he says you really don’t want them because if you take them home you’ll like it so much in there that one day you’ll let them **** you all the way in and you won’t come out in fact we don’t know how many people are already in there but Wal-Mart optical department shoppers have been disappearing for months and nobody can find them and you ask if he takes American Express.