This is the tale of a figure--
One you have noticed by chance--
Who's from the state of Ohio;
He calls himself JD Vance.

He once said Trump was like ******,
But suddenly Trump's now his champ.
Somehow or other the two
Ended up in the same camp.

He's an election denier
And WON'T rest until he defeats
Those who have different opinions.
He CALLS them (oh, horror!) elites!

The country, he says, is controlled by
Childless cat ladies whose aim
Is to make all of us feel
As wretched as they do. Oh, shame!

Hetero parents with children--
Another idea that he floats--
Ought to receive something special,
Which is to get extra votes.

Apparently, Vance thinks our leaders
Can lead only when they have known
What it is like to produce
One or more kids of their own.

(Chorus)
Tell us, please, Mr. Vance,
If you are truly for real.
How many crazy ideas
Do you still plan to reveal?

Vance is opposed to abortion,
Even for ****** or ****.
He thinks that he's pro-life Zorro,
Displaying his sword and his cape.

He says divorce is too easy,
And WE have had more than enough.
But what about violent spouses?
Violent? He would say, Tough.

The firing of all civil servants
Who don’t support MAGA goals
Is HIGH on his shifty to-do list
Once he is at the controls.

President Biden is killing
MAGA voters, says he,
With fentanyl! Oh, my goodness!
Only a fool would agree.

Marriage equality also
Is a big no-no for him.
And slavery's just like abortion!
Vance as VP? Oh, how grim!

(Chorus)
Tell us, please, Mr. Vance,
If you are truly for real.
How many crazy ideas
Do you still plan to reveal?
You and Trump must be looking
For an election to steal.

-by Bob B (7-31-24)