in a variation of: rewiring the brain: perhaps ingesting a certain graphic: but not allowing oneself to ******: gives me more vigor for the day ahead: regardless: since i still revert to climaxing looking at her, ***** photographs or not... just seeing her face and re-imagining it contort into an O: aghast, aplenty... such the delicacy of the exclusiveness of ***... which beggars the belief as to how boring or rather: how not-in-depth people have managed to couple themselves to: an abstract of body and a negated subject matter of: to touch is to find the quite: transcendental (of) feeling...

i'm growing desperate by the minute:
i'm not even going to count hours
the days have merged
and months are sometimes recognizable:
i did promise myself that:
i'd wait until Charlie's effigy would start
circulating on the banknotes:
i withdrew close to two thousand pounds
and lo and behold: ol' Charlie has started
to circulate and the "spending" power
has doubled since little miss perfect is
no longer the crux-and-currency...
i still have Washington and Lincoln
and... hmm... Lord Ilay in my wallet...
but there's one thing one can learn
from the migrant "crisis"...
i didn't choose to come to England
i didn't choose to be deported to be illegal
one year
and legal the next:
**** me! i can too play gambit and if
gambling is such an issue over games
i can gamble with mortality
and this is: my: life:
owing nothing to the gods and i implore
the plural
to suspect an undercurrent of hope
and i have hope...
there was just so much symmetry
in: how one evening it was a date night
and Reyla said so:
and i locked her up in the tower
like a dragon
i locked her up in a tower like a dragon:
the child's not even mine
but how gleeful and teary-eyed she was
that i locked her up...
of her own free-denoted: will?
**** knows by this stage:
i just want to get the passion out of the way
so i can experience some mundane
day to day banter of frivolity and fiscal
matters with Edie
but at least there will be a damsel locked
up in a tower and i will be the one
locking her up for
the sake other men's courage and ambition...
apparently the Chinese discovered
dinosaur bones long before
dinosaur bones were even discovered
by conjuring up drawings of dragons...
funny how not so funny how
intuitively we sleep walked into:
crowd control is a facade and
working with ex-military guys they simply
don't know anything about
the construction industry and ooh my blood
is boiling:
first date night
we went to see the Phantom of the Opera
at the King's Theater...
     pristine...
second night... Mozart's magic flute at the
national opera house...
walked out in fury by the end of the 1st act:
paper pigeons and a bunch of
overpopulation strategists of the stage:
extra: ******* flimsy dead-weight
fluttering about all postmodern and crutches
with pages imitating birds in flight:
but a DEUTSCHE OPERA in ENGLISH?!
a DEUTSCHE OPERA in Ęgliś?!
Hölle und Wut!
                        forderungen nicht erfüllt:
demands not met:
the phantom stormed out of the opera full of
critique and love...
so if these migrants can just hop on a banana
afloat and see fit: freedom is a mortal:
not grievance...
what's to stop me joining the tacos caravan
and bypassing the American mainland
and setting anchor in Hawaii:
not like living among the Polynesians might be:
probably will be:
than living among the Hindus etc
so... bulls-eye back...
                        i never chose to come to England
i like spending a sterling but
i heave no allegiance to this land
this conflated and confused all welcome
this Irish monstrosity of now blistered with:
should have just waited and
it would still be northern of an Ireland
and that's a matter of class
and earnings and not: exactly intellect...
but there's that longing to compliment me
and i'm also longing to fill a space...
whether i be housebound: domesticated:
but to meet a woman that can confiscate
a man's demand for philosophy:
as Socrates said:
marry, fine... but know this:
find a good woman and you will be happy...
find a difficult woman and you will
become a philosophers...
i did the whole digestion process backwards
(it would seem)
i ate and spoke with my ***
while started ******* through my mouth...
since i'll do the Rimbaud...
scribble in youth, waste it on words...
then play one last crescendo and: "disappear"...
but at least i won't be an old man
with literary ambitions... **** that no way...
to be an old man
and then crave philosophy: a life wasted...
do it my own way: backwards...
herr drachen: i salute you:
how you managed to steal a damsel, lock her
up in your castle
while going on a date night with her mother...
herr drachen: i salute you!
i, sire: my i: you; best addressing cogito ergo sum
in a variation of the objectivity pronoun
dynamic:
these days, yes: "i" mostly think in third
person of: you...    ha ha ha! gender neutral pronouns!
ha ha: how about subjectivity neutral pronouns?!
obliterate the lived experience of
being subjected to x!