Behind Closed Drawers


I have always suspected that

cutlery can be both devious

and conniving. Our kitchen

table has a drawer and each

time I open it, it seems to me

that nothing is as it should be.


They just don’t stay in their own

allocated spaces. I know for a

fact that one of the knives has

been trying to butter up the old

ladle, whom I think is beyond all

that sort of thing now. Another

one was looking for a fork on the

table; would you believe it?


But, imagine sPATula asking

the lemon squeezer for a twist

and even before he got a reply,

he whisked her away into a dark

corner and tried to skewer her.


Peeler was in on it, it was he who

removed her outer covering and,

only for Masher hearing her

scream, who knows what would

have happened. There is an old

wives tale, keep your tongs as

close together as possible when

in crowded areas with strangers.


The scissors sisters say it also,

because they had a close brush.

Nobody ever touches or even

goes near Ally Grater, same for

chopsticks. Sure would you look at

them; they are seriously anorexic.


One has to wonder about stopper

and bottle *****, they are always

there side by side but never touch,

I think their relationship is platonic.


With all the goings on, is it any

wonder, when the spoon got an

opportunity to elope, off he went,

with, what everyone agrees, was a

stunner, she was an absolute dish.