HOW TO USE A GUN TO STOP A CRAZY MURDERER FROM MURDERING YOU – You're in a hot bed alone with your ****-***
cousin when you are attacked by another cousin who isn't very ****
except for a little bit. You scream: “Stop!” and then you shoot a lot.
There are chunks of cousin everywhere. “Are you okay?!” You ask.
The unshot cousin assures you that she's fine. And you say: “You're
fine! The finest piece of cousin-*** I've ever had!” She laughs and a
little bird flies through the window. “That bird represents harmony;
a harmony of kindred spirits that makes our plane Earth so ****  for
every ****-cousin who ain't been ripped into 5,000 ****** chunks!”
She sermonizes like a ***** who's 550 trillion times smarter than a
***-loving priest from long ago when Russia was a kooky country.