I thought I was better

Accepting that time
Forced me to move on
Accepting that life
Had finally gave me a break

A break from pain
And misery
And heartache

I thought I was better

Being able to speak your name
The small uncontrollable smile
That always crosses my lips
Warming my heart
Being able to remember our time with fondness

But as soft as you memory is to me
The razor edges cut deep
The longing for your ghost
To not be a ghost anymore

Is this my curse
Forever longing one
That settled for those that punish him
Despite knowing what love really is?