Asleep in their nests birds dreaming out loud Just outside his window new questions aroused The moonlight not finished what it started before The church clothes still hanging on the back of the door What once he thought ended returning again What never befriended new searching begins The glass in the parlor’s long myopic hall Illuminates squalor and all he recalls The ringing alarm signals all bets are off As the birds start to sing of eternity’s cost The revelers revel the sanguine proclaim The church starts to fill and they’re calling his name Any proof in the pudding has curdled and soured As the chalice gets cleaned and the vision devours The mood is enhanced and wine slowly drips The light through the stained glass distorted in bits The reasons no matter alone as before And sanity worships death closing the door His dress shirt went on white starched and unblessed The sermon made ready for those at behest And what might he offer where prisoners hide Salvation most proffered when funded by lies The eyes looking back fixed silent and low The eyes looking back from pews far below Surrounded by neighbors and men who’re once bold His eyes were then only but thirteen years old The distance seemed fatal the distance seemed slim But now looking up it was all about him To one then so young and so new and so fresh Still wanting to believe in not leaving the nest Surrounded by elders deceivers and friends Dressed in his finest his hair slicked on end His eyes remain down as his thoughts decontruct His face never changed as the sermon ramped up “And what must the youth think of me on this day” The Vicar’s thoughts looming praying mantis to prey The height differential the power sublime The stairs leading up for the blind then to climb And once at the top all so distant below And once at the top nothing new left to know The birds dare not enter the sparrow or dove The belfry stark empty devoid of all love The peacock dismembered in colors of blight The peacock remembered in times that were bright The hand bills are placed at the end of each pew A message designed for only the few Caught up in the fable caught up in the lie To burn down the manger lambs scream as they fry The church social breakfast has started out back Hoping for: “Great sermon Parson had to hold my tears back” But the truth knows no teller but what’s told in the end Whose message stays mired where all messages end Belonging to no-one to him least of all But forever himself as he must heed the call The blamer blasphemer the architect ***** Silent screams from the pews that they need something more And in silence he struggles his collars’ too tight For clerics who bombast portend and then fright The moral unlettered the reason unschooled The soul when unfettered no one left to rule He knew the time short few stairs left to climb That boy once malingered to always remind To start at the beginning to restart at the end To start where he stopped as a stranger again Overpowering reluctance consumes him today And with cryptic delusion he parry’s and feigns Beget not begotten claiming unto himself All virtue forgotten all feeling unfelt If it mattered whenever if it mattered just once The parson calls out to approach and exeunt Reversing his trust shouting but to himself “Betray now adroitly” this ice cube to melt Benedictions unburning inside the unhost All tides are returning last turkey to roast The *** is left thickening ruination sublime Intention most wicked coming only from mind The cowards stay victim the bravest rejoice A knave neath the roundtable never his choice The bend in the circumstance the straightening lie The clue that was missing the unquestioned reply Walk up to the pulpit three steps that don’t end The pride and the fury pontificates rend Looking out at the parishioners their eyes staring down He knows without speaking rivers crossed, bridges down As he takes his last breath speaks his last final words What once was a boy separates from the herd He steps down, turns and leaves without once looking back The parson stabbed fatally his parsonage wracked The breakfast is ransacked left plundered and frayed The devout are heard neighing like a horse without hay Heading straight down the lane neither bowed nor ***** No breakfast for him celebration dissects Walking in through the back door his Aunty Ruth smiles Asking, “Is everything all right” you’ve been gone quit awhile” He says: “Everything’s fine as his father distills And closing the window say’s: “I’m feeling a chill” He walks up 13 stairs and sits down on the bed Looking straight up above him childish images dead Asleep before dark in a dream meets his peace Knowing surrounded by doom he must tomorrow retreat He is up before dawn and back out on the lane One sack over his shoulder one orphan to claim The walk to the harbor is rocky and steep His gait ever steadfast a promise to keep Signing onto the first ship that’s ready to sail Setting a course still uncharted in a sea of travail The clouds getting darker the waves though they fall His soul is on fire his spirit on call With the ship looming outward beyond sight of land His future to clear his mission at hand That first day on board and first night below deck Were the first that had ever held him safe in their net With dawn’s light he climbed to the crow’s nest above And said ‘Thank You” to providence vowing his love And he sat there for hours his past to enshroud New horizons were calling — he never so proud