stacked them high toward a shadow of a commitment to say likewise
like for like eye for an eye that is some bearing to this current: simple un-gratified loss of prayer
in a vague entrance to sight from sigh or the entrance to thought through: perhaps a hum of om
the Hum of Om like that fabled: research, please! the Hum of Om like Ayat like Aql
i know an hour will pass and i will think that i have written so much but instead i'll realize that i'm readjusting to the hermit me who would spend his time writing and drinking
i just finished the first book of Dune and unlike the film: i'm trying to un-see the film because in the film you only learn of Paul Harkonnen at the end of the movie with: grandfather... but in the book that is already realised in the tent while Paul and Jessica are waiting for Idaho or not waiting for Idaho
before Jessica drinks the water of life the worm ***** or whatever juice of the ******* wriggling to the death by water: point being beside the noble worms as perhaps whales whales yes because that's the mammalian aquatic threshold
and i mean: i will not have written much but left enough space
to look through... from the perspective of writing and living out the mundane without Edie... the time that is required... all the fears and dictates of my mother and father are nothing that i spent the day cleaning the house to only have mother come back from hospital and reflexology session with "Auntie Rajama" well... sliding doors ahead of you... i too live under a matriarchal oppression mental gym-bro that's a girl in the public square burning her bra and competing with men in the construction industry or the security sector...
we had guys known as KLAWISZE former prison guards operate this sector... now comes the time of the ex-military brigade but still so many loopholes with the mass exodus from India to the Crown...
yes: some pause is a must right now when i think about the length of the task and all the curvature that might come not even asking: who is the thinker of thoughts and the dreamer of dreams
perhaps ask, specifically for who is i if i were, that is, asking myself with a hypnotic hypothesis of pathology and lack of pathology in the confines of apathy:
climbing the ladder of grammar i see something of myself that requires a reminder that is my selfish life this bookworm this caricature of man who elsewhere shine in glistening a muscular a weird attentiveness to the sea a local fisherman with no rod but a hook and line standing in the open Pacific like this is my Dune not Dune this glass ripple and all the salt to juice the carnal feast in **** and bear and ox tail and yummy yummy some heroic end to my struggles i thought not like but heard all those warnings by men for men and all that talk i wonder could i end up like a proverbial Friday,
Friday the Idiot from London shackled to Kauai... forgot his library... what one book would i bring to have with me?
when i was younger i asked myself the question: what is the last music track that i will hear before i die? back then i was a Intrinsic: the equivalent to a Mentat - i would obviously not know the last track of music i would have heard unless i armed myself with continually wearing headphones - a commuter's hell and paradise not exactly thinking machines as automated beings,
thinking machines exist, but require a thinker's input to be animate otherwise thinking machines are inanimate and therefore not a hazard, threat... no... they require input... but... automate beings... automated beings automated humans... that's android territory of psychopathic dolls and reels of cheese bad cheese good melting canvas for: silicone but what if moved the cellulite from buttocks to the ******* give god his female rearing, fearing: form of enough breast to *** ratio and thighs and a very thin face with no dub dub my own double chin that i hide using a beard...
i heard of the toad neck the toad neck of living outside of salt water... the toad-neck is caused by the Thyroid Gland...
Thyroiditis: all subjective experiences of each individual body parts is bound to the subjectivity of horror without experience the sheering horror of Sigma the All Encompassing ego to letter focus suggesting the ego-parasite will not wriggle out somehow still not aware but this symbiosis of ego as incorporating self and other and the plurality of us and them and all that weaves itself into the earth of politics:
but at least i paid my dues wit enough reading to writing ratio: i always: feel: guilty: if: i: have: written: more: than: i: have: read...
made an old endorsement for paging mr telegraph, paging mr telegraph see the colon punctuation system for the digital telegraph
no STOP for .dot
i.e. words separated by colon and finish would be a sweet wipe of the lips or lipstick off or perhaps just finished a greasy meal therefore with ; a semi-colon of . ,
(enlarged) . . (colon, enlarged)
or least there's the thought: why the sudden conversion or what is this even mean?
without knowledge have sent astray? so set your man by nature u/p which He has creat- Allah's creation. T- know not -- Turning unto duty unto Him, and e/s- who ascribe partners (u of those who spli/ matics, each sect exulting And when harm Lord, turning to Him in/ tasted of His mercy, behol/d to their Lord
those torn pages of the Quran by my mother when i was exploring different thresholds of understanding by no obscure way i was going to depict the tares at the Romans and ending at Luqman...
then i saw the tare and the following sentence emerge:
WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE AND THOUGH IT BE IN A ROCK
i stand to poise, i do wonder whether that means anything perhaps to ants it does but to humans?
without knowledge and though it be in a rock...
expand: i am not really prone to saying things prophetically or pro-wisely what what? man without knowledge is... and even though it be in a rock: knowledge?
no: fascination? admiration for life and life-intellect say god is of life and no god is of death and both are right whether by sooth to tooth to soothe and however i word it there's this second parting heavier than the first but also lighter because now i just realised that it was a second parting and i'm not too sure where she is on this page finally realizing that perhaps i'm not for her and perhaps she loves me enough to leave me alone that i might refocus on this cascades these blues in wine and tokes with starlight and friendly neighborly conversations... which might be not to ms claustrophobia's suiting should that be a chasm a biological fear a sudden terrible monstrosity given that she's not my daughter and there would be to mention of ****** and inbreeding for some Heb Gazzarye beast of the falcon and the lizard and the clue as to how gizzards became a sweet meat special...
timely: onion gravy and mash p'oh tatties... the idea is timely and still refreshing to think 38 oh 38 come my 60th i'll have a wife aged 77 and a mother aged 86 and a father probably dead and i will be renting a property on an island a Pacific *** *** hello venture like there is no nothing zilch of me here in the London Obscurity Digital Zoo Central
you have to live these parts girl from text to text from whim to whim on whimsical tides arguing not arguing not really a part of some collective narrative but instead imploding to home and to the maturity of manners i just like m in that sentence a letter a mem a mem is for example a maturity of manners or for example the tinker tailor triad a mem is a particular punishment opposing punishment itself yet riddling the punished a punishment-in-itself punishment itself is no punishment without a punishment-in-itself
i think best exemplified by how abstract German became and not really read in popular circles would never amount to unfolding the abstract fabric of the simple change of wording to gravitate toward the laissez-faire of meaning in that: nothing is really just a pronoun thing as in: a thing-in-itself is almost like my questioning the authenticity of having a subjectivity of a thyroid gland? apart from having been subjected to a body in total by what comes after seeing namely thinking or subtle-thinking before the ego creates hatchlin' hooks of parasitic symbiosis devoid of a name given as responsive: the ego responds to it's "ego"... i'm currently subject to:
no no... the thing-in-itself... but if explored outside of the realm of "things"... then a blueprint analysis of say: heartbreak and heartache and love and 3 years: what down what drain? not against the waves of the sea not against the river? down the river? who knows?!
but these are my supposed days off but they aren't so much days off like days in between where there is a glimmer of science-fiction escapism but a crashing crescendo reality licking check for friction akin to frost on a metal pole like i know certainly realities but i still want to be the ball-breaker qureysh: Qureysh winter...
metabolism sloth and fire breathing bear... somewhere in a cave in a forest centuries ago: i too was teased by the fate of Nebuchadnezzar -
my 20s are a vagueness but not born a king could not have wed my feeding to grass... Samyaza: Nephilim - apocryphal Christianity - in the old saying: the books kept to be read in private to children as bedtime stories about Noah and the giants and Angels... not the protestant revamp of the word: apocryphal... not heretical no just obscure i.e. to be literature for families to form outside of the synoptic canonical text spoken of in the church with authority
well if you want a functional christianity you will have to allow the apocryphal library to be reintroduced into the family environment - if you're serious... if you want to go down the Quran Avenue of having a sacred text: you have texts! not belonging to a single individual but many! on account of that...
the apocryphal library needs to be released for the understudy of family life and myth formation no other books outside of the apocryphal HERESY segment are allowed in the house... and there is no book of authority except the books of the old and new testament depending on the fervor one is cited more than the other the two are interchangeable... i see the latter as a greco-hebrew conspiracy manual against the Roman Empire and Jesus wasn't Jewish he was probably Assyrian or whatever and who knows that trip to Egypt as a toddler then returning back to Judea because Joseph's carpentry shop wasn't doing so well... Africans love their stone and marbles... who needs 'ud / wood in the desert?
but the apocryphal library will have to be manifest... in the houses of these christian families... text that are obscure but but... expansive... you can't have: i appreciate the dedication of the illiterate to the Quran some reciting on trains as if literacy is equivalent to learning how to ride a bicycle or learning how to swim: point being! once learned?! never forgotten!