Do you remember the last time you felt awake like truly ******* aware and ready because every day I wake up already exhausted and every night I fight demons yet I’m aching with bedsores anyway because I don’t know how to exist in this house without being angry and I worry it’s turning me into my father and maybe it’s the anxiety or the desolation or just the ******* exhaustion because I stay awake sweating all night long and having nightmares that are less scary than reality so what the **** am I even doing right now