My heartbeat is ripping through my chest,
I just remove the day I won't forget,
For a future of a regrets,
Loving myself lesser and less.

I'm a fool of righteousness and pride,
I'm staying up crying at night,
Praying I'll see the northern lights,
But as usual I'm a shadow of right.

I keep fearing I'm going to regret,
Letting you move away from me,
I don't want to be here in this town,
I want to feel the sun on the beach.

I want to feel my pride fill up my soul,
I can't deal with tears anymore,
I want to feel special and in debt,
Of all the future love on yet to get.

Instead I am a fool in a hermit light,
Wondering why I'm so alone that I,
Feel my chest ripping through my soul,
I really never wanna let you go.

If I write this down for you,
Would you care that I even did it too?
For your smile and your warmth and brown eyes too,
I feel like I'm madly in love with you.

I hope one day I get that chance to say,
How deep you make the feeling stay,
But I'm horrified and scared in a way,
you would just take what I have as I lay.

My husband says have faith more in you,
You're not the reason I have that fear too,
I've been constantly used,
For gain, pleasure and dismissal.

Is the season worth the rain at all,
The fire burns my skin as usual,
I'm used to the charcoal I leave behind,
I'm going to burn myself and love you til I die.