May 2
The woman in the blue Chevy said: “Just five dollars please,” as I pumped two more dollars of Sunoco 260 into the aging four door sedan. As she paid me and then left, I looked at the Croton Chronograph Watch on my wrist that I had gone into hock for last fall. 5:15, SHOOT!!!, I only had 45 minutes to jump on my bike and make it the fifteen miles back to West Philadelphia to class.
I was taking night courses at St Joseph’s College (St Joseph’s University now), and my first class started at 6:00 p.m. Why? I asked myself again did I always cut it so close? Deep inside I knew the answer, but I told myself it was because I was a good employee. I had been pumping gas and renting U-Haul Trucks at an Arco gas station in North Hills Pa. for the past two years. The station was open till 6 p.m. every day, and it seemed I never got out of there until after 5.
It was owned by a good friend of mine, Bob, whom I had met in Ocean City New Jersey while living in the rooming house that he and his wife Pat owned at 14th street and Asbury Ave. Every day at five o’clock, Bob would yell out to me on the gas island — “time to leave!” He knew how long the ride was back to school during rush hour and that I never seemed to get out by 5.
The real answer as to why I was always late was that I liked the challenge. I loved the ride through the small section of Fairmount Park and then the river town of Manayunk always trying to get back to my apartment at 54th and Woodland Ave in the Overbrook section of Philadelphia before six. 54th and Woodland was right across the street from St Joe’s, and I would literally race into the driveway in front of my apartment house, drop the bike’s kickstand run inside to change and then head for class. Many times, I would not even change out of my Arco jumper (uniform) before heading over to campus. I often didn’t have the time. I wondered what some of the other people, especially girls, must have thought of the strange aroma that I brought to the class on the nights when I didn’t change.
To Their Credit, No One Ever Complained
I had always secretly wanted to road-race motorcycles, and this twenty-minute ride both to and from work every day gave me a chance to indulge my fantasy. Tonight, I would be cutting it very close and not even have time to stop at my apartment. I would have to park under the tree in front of my classroom building and run up the stairs to the third floor and do it all before six o’clock. It was an advanced Philosophy class, Ethics and Morality, and the professor, Dr. Larry McKinnon closed the doors promptly at six. If you were late, you didn’t get in — no exceptions!
I raced through the park on Bells Mill Road and hit the cobblestone hills of Manayunk with 15 minutes still left on my watch. I then raced up City Line Ave and caught only one red light as I saw the lights of 54th and City Line straight ahead. The light was yellow as I leaned over hard and made the left turn on 54th St. I raced up past the basketball arena and turned right on Woodland Ave. I would normally have gone straight a half block to my apartment, but I had cut it too close and didn’t have the time. I pulled up in front of the Villiger Building, chained my bike to the tree I always used, and ran for the stairway door around back by the track.
This building had no elevator, so it was up two flights of stairs to the top floor and then left down the hall to where my classroom was the one farthest on the right.
As I rushed through the back door of Villiger, the first flight of stairs was blocked. An elderly man with a Gulf Oil Hat on was struggling to pull his son in a wheelchair up the 26 stairs. He had the entire stairway blocked, and I had less than two minutes to get by him and into McKinnon’s class. His son in the wheelchair was in really bad shape. He was in a total body brace that went clear to his head, and as he looked down at me, I heard him say: “Hey Moose, grab the front, and we’ll both make it to McKinnon’s class before he shuts the door.”
With that, I grabbed the small front wheels and lifted, as we both carried the wheelchair up the two flights of stairs to the third floor. We entered the hallway just as Dr. McKinnon was shutting the door. The kid in the wheelchair yelled out, “Wait for us Doc” as we raced for the closing door. I took the handles of the chair away from his dad and pushed the chair inside. We had made it but not any too soon.
I wondered to myself if McKinnon would have denied entry to this kid who had been stricken with polio if he had arrived just two minutes later. It would have taken at least that long if his dad had tackled those stairs alone. I parked his wheelchair next to my desk on the far left as the professor started his lecture. When it was over, I pushed his wheelchair outside to where his dad was waiting.
“Ed Hudak,” his father said, “and this is my son Eddie. Thanks so much for helping us up the stairs. I got out of work late and had to race home to the Northeast section of Philadelphia, pick Eddie up, and then race back down here to get him to class.” Mr. Hudak worked at the Gulf Oil Refinery in South Philadelphia. To leave work at four o’clock and get all the way up to the Northeast, pick up his crippled son, and then race back down to West Philadelphia made the little twenty-minute jaunt that I did every day seem like child’s play.
His son Eddie then asked me where my next class was. “Dr Marshall’s ‘Rational Psychology,’ I told him” as he said, “mine too, you can push me over there and my dad can go to the student union and get something to eat and rest for a while.” School had only started last week, and somehow I had missed seeing this crippled kid in both of my classes. He told me he had seen me though because of the strange jumper I had on and the helmet I carried into class. When he told his father about me his dad said: “That kid must work in a gas station and be paying for school himself. Cut him some slack if he doesn’t look real presentable on those days when he’s late.”
Eddie and I finished both classes together and I got ready to push him back outside. As we passed the vending machines on the first floor, I told him that this was where I usually stopped to have dinner before going home. He asked me, “What’s your favorite?” and I told him, “the Dinty Moore beef stew.” The machine had three different varieties and that was usually all I had until breakfast the next day. Eddie said he would like to wait while I ate and that his father would be fine outside for a few more minutes. He seemed to know something about our new relationship that would take quite a bit longer for me to discover and sort out.
Eddie Always Seemed To ‘Just Know’
I asked Eddie what his major was, and he said Literature, and that he had been a student here for almost six years. Again, I wondered, how could I have missed him in that wheelchair with someone always pushing him to where he needed to go? I hoped I hadn’t refused to see him in his diminished condition with my eyes always looking away. These kinds of things always bothered me, and I was squeamish around handicapped people, especially children. My mother had volunteered at the St. Edmond’s Home For Crippled Children in Rosemont for many years, but I was still uncomfortable when I saw those kids, not much younger than I was, in wheelchairs and leg braces.
Eddie’s Condition Was Much Worse
The only thing handicapped about Eddie was his body. His mind and spirit were stronger than any five, so-called, normal people. His father had made sure of that. His dad had been racing from work to home and then to school for almost six years devoting whatever spare time he had to what his son wanted to accomplish. He would drop Eddie off at class and then, most nights, go sleep in his car in the school parking lot. Many nights, the temperature in that parking lot was below freezing, but this sixty-year-old man NEVER complained.
Who Was Really Handicapped, Eddie Or Me?
As much as I marveled at how well Eddie did in spite of being disabled, his father amazed me even more. He was like so many heroes that we never hear about standing off in the shadows so that someone else can thrive. After I finished my stew, I pushed Eddie outside to where his dad was waiting. He shook my hand and said: “Son, without your help tonight, we’d have really been in a terrible fix.”
He Called Me “Son”
As I watched him wheel Eddie back toward their car in the parking lot, I pushed my long hair back and pulled my helmet over my head. The chinstrap I left unbuckled on these short rides because it always got tangled in my beard. I rode the two short blocks back to my apartment with the sight of Eddie and his dad burned into the front of my psyche. I knew I had witnessed something special tonight, I just didn’t know yet how special it truly was or would then become.
Now, I had an entirely new reason for getting to school on time. I was not going to let that diminutive older man pull that wheelchair up those stairs one more time — not if I could help it. I was never late again for the rest of that semester, as Eddie and I became fast friends with he and his dad even visiting my apartment on more than one occasion. I became a real master at pulling that sled of his up the stairs, and we often got help from other male students as we made the climb.
Eddie told me in confidence one day that I had been good for his dad. I thought he was referring to the physical exertion I had save him, and Eddie said: “No, it’s more than that. My dad has never liked anyone with long hair and a beard, and he told my mother the other night that you were the first. He then went on to say that maybe it was just hair and that he shouldn’t let things like that bother him anymore.” I was both flattered and gratified that he saw something in me, something that I still may not have seen in myself.
Mr. Hudak had been a World War 2 veteran and participated as a Chaplain’s Assistant in such major conflicts as D-Day and The Battle Of The Bulge. His Jeep had sunk in deep water during the D-Day landing, and he and the Chaplain had to swim two hundred yards to shore amidst enemy fire. He was a great man in the tradition of all great men who provide unselfish and heroic service while asking for nothing in return. In many ways, I secretly wished that he had been my dad too.
My father had also been in World War 2 as a Marine and fought many engagements in the South Pacific. He was a hero to me, but the difference between my father and Mr. Hudak was, my dad loved me, but he didn’t seem interested in my life now. He didn’t approve of my studying Philosophy, and he couldn’t understand why I hadn’t chosen a more conventional career path like the sons of so many of his friends.
In Ways I Couldn’t Understand, I Think I Embarrassed My Father
What my dad didn’t know was, that underneath the long hair and beard, my beliefs were a little to the right of Attila The ***. Unfortunately, we never had a serious conversation where he could have discovered that.
The semester finally came to an end and the Christmas holidays were now upon us. It was cold weather to be riding a motorcycle but, when that’s all you have. then that’s what you ride. On the last day of class before break, Mr. Hudak pulled me aside. “My wife Marge and I are having a little party next Saturday night, and we’d like you to come.” Everything inside me was trying to find an excuse not to go, but all I was capable of was shaking my head yes and thanking this great man for the kind invitation.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to meet his family. It was that I literally had nothing to wear and only the motorcycle to get me there. My entire wardrobe consisted of two pairs of jeans, three t-shirts, and one beige fisherman’s knit sweater that I had bought at a local discount store. I still hadn’t worn the sweater, and the tags were still on it. I kept telling myself I was saving it for a special occasion. Well, what could be more special than meeting Mr. Hudak’s family. The afternoon of the party I removed the tags from the sweater and ran down to the Laundromat and washed my newest jeans.
Eddie had told me that the get together would start around seven, but I could arrive anytime I wanted. As I pulled the motorcycle up in front of their brick row house, I looked for a place to park the bike where it wouldn’t stand out. I already looked like a child of the sixties, and the motorcycle would only give them something else to focus on that might be misleading.
My fears were totally unfounded as I walked through the front door. Mr. Hudak greeted me warmly, as Eddie yelled out in a voice all could hear: “My buddy Kurt’s here.” My buddy Kurt! Those words have stayed with me and have provided sustenance during times when I thought my life was tough. All I had to do in those moments was think of Eddie and what he and his family had been through, and my pity party for myself ended almost quicker than it began.
“My Buddy Kurt’s Here”
No sooner did I wave to Eddie than Mrs. Hudak came bouncing out of the kitchen. Literally bouncing! This tiny woman of 5’1’’ came bounding across the dining room floor and immediately reached up and threw both of her arms around my neck. She squeezed hard and it felt good. It was real and she wanted me to know that. Eddie had also explained to me how physically strong his mother was. It was the result of having to carry him up and down two flights of stairs from his bedroom to their recreation room in the basement below. She did this several times a day.
I don’t know how high the heat was set to in their house that night, but I had never felt so warm — or accepted. To an outsider like me it even looked like love, which I was to find out shortly is exactly what it was. I wanted to take my heavy sweater off, but I had nothing on underneath but an old t-shirt. Mrs. Hudak’s name was Marge, and she was from an old Irish family named McCarty. When she first saw me earlier, after I had removed my jacket, she said: “What a lovely sweater, shorin it tis.”
It Felt Like Love
I spent that night getting to know everyone, and in no time felt like one of the family. At ten o’clock the guests started to leave and Marge took me into the kitchen. “Can you stay a little while longer, because at eleven there is someone who I want you to meet?” I said sure, as she fed me more cake and cookies telling me that they were baked special by the evening’s mystery guest.
At eleven fifteen the front door opened with an “I’m home,” coming from a young woman’s voice. As I stood up, a flash of white turned the corner and entered the kitchen. There in her finest nurse’s regalia, stood Eddie’s younger sister, Kathryn, who had just finished the evening shift at Nazareth Hospital in North Philadelphia.
“WOW, WAS SHE SOMETHING,” is all I could hear myself saying as she took her first look at me. “So, this is the guy I’ve heard so much about huh,” she said as she walked to the refrigerator. “Based on my brother’s description, I thought you would have been at least ten feet tall.” Mildly sarcastic for sure, but I was smitten right away.
Later, I heard her on the phone with someone who sounded like her boyfriend. They seemed to be fighting, and I sensed from the look on her dad’s face that they weren’t crazy about him either. He said: “I hope it’s over,” and in less than a minute Kathryn came into the living room with tears in her eyes. As she ran up the stairs to her bedroom, you could hear her say, “What A ****!” I prayed she wasn’t referring to me.
Her mother ran up the stairs after her but before she did, she asked me not to leave. Ten minutes later she came back downstairs and said: “You haven’t finished your cookies and cake in the kitchen.”
Marge was right, and I really wanted to finish them, but I was now starting to feel uncomfortable and in the middle of something that wasn’t for me to see or hear. Not wanting to seem rude, I followed her back to the kitchen table and sat down as she refilled my glass with milk. “So, what are your plans for the holidays,” she asked, as I wolfed down the sweets.
“Oh, nothing much,” I said, “just schoolwork and my job at the gas station.” “And how about New Year’s Eve she asked?” “Oh, nothing planned, probably just go see my grandparents and then watch the ball drop on TV in my apartment if I make it till twelve”. “Why don’t you ask Kathryn out” she said, as her eyes twinkled? I thought I must have been hearing things and looked baffled, so she repeated it again…
Why Don’t You Ask Kathryn Out
This kindly woman, from this great family, was suggesting that I take their pride and joy daughter, Kathyrn, out for New Year’s Eve. I didn’t know what to say. “Why don’t you think about it? I’ll bet the two of you would have fun. I think based on tonight she is now free for New Year’s Eve too.”
I was literally in shock and not prepared for this. I had recently broken up with a long-term girlfriend who I had dated all through high school and college. I had convinced myself that I needed a break from girls for a while, and now here I was faced with dating Mr. Hudak’s only daughter. In a few minutes, Marge walked out of the kitchen and Kathryn walked back in. She was now dressed in her pajamas and robe. If I had been smitten before, I was totally taken now.
I knew the first thing I said might be my last, so after a long pause I uttered: “So, I hear you’re not doing anything for New Years Eve?” Not the best ice breaker as she yelled out to her mother: “Mommmmm, what did you tell him.” Her mother didn’t answer. I said again: “Kathy, please don’t take it the wrong way, I don’t have a date for New Year’s either.” She looked at me for what seemed like an eternity, that in reality lasted for just a few seconds, before saying: “And just where do you propose we should go, Mr. Wonderful?” Thank God I had an answer.
The Ice Had Broken
“Zaberers,” I said: “They’re open twenty-four hours. They have dinner and dancing and then a big show right after midnight.” “Zaberers, huh,” she said, as she looked at me once more. “All right, you can pick me up at eight.” With that, I didn’t want to push my luck. I thanked her parents for the wonderful evening and wanted to say good night to Eddie, but he had already gone to bed. That was what Marge was doing on her second trip upstairs — what a woman!!!
What A Woman Indeed!
Kathy and I had a great time on that first date on New Years Eve. All we really talked about was her father and about how hard he had struggled to keep the family together and how lucky he was to have found a woman like Marge who was the love of his life.
Kathy and I were engaged to be married just nine weeks later on March 5th,, and then married that fall on September 22nd 1974. I was now a real part of the family that I had admired from afar. Kathy and I had two children, and Marge and Ed were the best grandparents that two kids could ever have hoped for. They were lucky enough to see both of their grandchildren grow into adulthood and attend their college graduations. They were also able to proudly attend the wedding of their oldest grandchild, our daughter Melissa.
We lost Ed Hudak, my father-in-law, my guardian, and my friend, last December, and the world has been a little less bright with only the memory of him here now. In many ways, he was the best of what we are all still trying to become, and his spirit remains inside us during the times of our greatest need.
For me though, I’ll never forget the time of our first meeting. That late September afternoon when I looked up those stairs at St Joe’s and not a word needed to be said. Here was a Saint of a man doing what real men do and doing it quietly. With humble dignity, his spirit reached out to me that day and filled an empty place inside of me with his love.
Now, forty years later, that same spirit occupies a bigger and bigger place in my life. From somewhere deep inside my soul it continues to live on, and I know for as long as I can remember — it will never let me go.
And I Called Him … ‘The Chief’
I was taking night courses at St Joseph’s College (St Joseph’s University now), and my first class started at 6:00 p.m. Why? I asked myself again did I always cut it so close? Deep inside I knew the answer, but I told myself it was because I was a good employee. I had been pumping gas and renting U-Haul Trucks at an Arco gas station in North Hills Pa. for the past two years. The station was open till 6 p.m. every day, and it seemed I never got out of there until after 5.
It was owned by a good friend of mine, Bob, whom I had met in Ocean City New Jersey while living in the rooming house that he and his wife Pat owned at 14th street and Asbury Ave. Every day at five o’clock, Bob would yell out to me on the gas island — “time to leave!” He knew how long the ride was back to school during rush hour and that I never seemed to get out by 5.
The real answer as to why I was always late was that I liked the challenge. I loved the ride through the small section of Fairmount Park and then the river town of Manayunk always trying to get back to my apartment at 54th and Woodland Ave in the Overbrook section of Philadelphia before six. 54th and Woodland was right across the street from St Joe’s, and I would literally race into the driveway in front of my apartment house, drop the bike’s kickstand run inside to change and then head for class. Many times, I would not even change out of my Arco jumper (uniform) before heading over to campus. I often didn’t have the time. I wondered what some of the other people, especially girls, must have thought of the strange aroma that I brought to the class on the nights when I didn’t change.
To Their Credit, No One Ever Complained
I had always secretly wanted to road-race motorcycles, and this twenty-minute ride both to and from work every day gave me a chance to indulge my fantasy. Tonight, I would be cutting it very close and not even have time to stop at my apartment. I would have to park under the tree in front of my classroom building and run up the stairs to the third floor and do it all before six o’clock. It was an advanced Philosophy class, Ethics and Morality, and the professor, Dr. Larry McKinnon closed the doors promptly at six. If you were late, you didn’t get in — no exceptions!
I raced through the park on Bells Mill Road and hit the cobblestone hills of Manayunk with 15 minutes still left on my watch. I then raced up City Line Ave and caught only one red light as I saw the lights of 54th and City Line straight ahead. The light was yellow as I leaned over hard and made the left turn on 54th St. I raced up past the basketball arena and turned right on Woodland Ave. I would normally have gone straight a half block to my apartment, but I had cut it too close and didn’t have the time. I pulled up in front of the Villiger Building, chained my bike to the tree I always used, and ran for the stairway door around back by the track.
This building had no elevator, so it was up two flights of stairs to the top floor and then left down the hall to where my classroom was the one farthest on the right.
As I rushed through the back door of Villiger, the first flight of stairs was blocked. An elderly man with a Gulf Oil Hat on was struggling to pull his son in a wheelchair up the 26 stairs. He had the entire stairway blocked, and I had less than two minutes to get by him and into McKinnon’s class. His son in the wheelchair was in really bad shape. He was in a total body brace that went clear to his head, and as he looked down at me, I heard him say: “Hey Moose, grab the front, and we’ll both make it to McKinnon’s class before he shuts the door.”
With that, I grabbed the small front wheels and lifted, as we both carried the wheelchair up the two flights of stairs to the third floor. We entered the hallway just as Dr. McKinnon was shutting the door. The kid in the wheelchair yelled out, “Wait for us Doc” as we raced for the closing door. I took the handles of the chair away from his dad and pushed the chair inside. We had made it but not any too soon.
I wondered to myself if McKinnon would have denied entry to this kid who had been stricken with polio if he had arrived just two minutes later. It would have taken at least that long if his dad had tackled those stairs alone. I parked his wheelchair next to my desk on the far left as the professor started his lecture. When it was over, I pushed his wheelchair outside to where his dad was waiting.
“Ed Hudak,” his father said, “and this is my son Eddie. Thanks so much for helping us up the stairs. I got out of work late and had to race home to the Northeast section of Philadelphia, pick Eddie up, and then race back down here to get him to class.” Mr. Hudak worked at the Gulf Oil Refinery in South Philadelphia. To leave work at four o’clock and get all the way up to the Northeast, pick up his crippled son, and then race back down to West Philadelphia made the little twenty-minute jaunt that I did every day seem like child’s play.
His son Eddie then asked me where my next class was. “Dr Marshall’s ‘Rational Psychology,’ I told him” as he said, “mine too, you can push me over there and my dad can go to the student union and get something to eat and rest for a while.” School had only started last week, and somehow I had missed seeing this crippled kid in both of my classes. He told me he had seen me though because of the strange jumper I had on and the helmet I carried into class. When he told his father about me his dad said: “That kid must work in a gas station and be paying for school himself. Cut him some slack if he doesn’t look real presentable on those days when he’s late.”
Eddie and I finished both classes together and I got ready to push him back outside. As we passed the vending machines on the first floor, I told him that this was where I usually stopped to have dinner before going home. He asked me, “What’s your favorite?” and I told him, “the Dinty Moore beef stew.” The machine had three different varieties and that was usually all I had until breakfast the next day. Eddie said he would like to wait while I ate and that his father would be fine outside for a few more minutes. He seemed to know something about our new relationship that would take quite a bit longer for me to discover and sort out.
Eddie Always Seemed To ‘Just Know’
I asked Eddie what his major was, and he said Literature, and that he had been a student here for almost six years. Again, I wondered, how could I have missed him in that wheelchair with someone always pushing him to where he needed to go? I hoped I hadn’t refused to see him in his diminished condition with my eyes always looking away. These kinds of things always bothered me, and I was squeamish around handicapped people, especially children. My mother had volunteered at the St. Edmond’s Home For Crippled Children in Rosemont for many years, but I was still uncomfortable when I saw those kids, not much younger than I was, in wheelchairs and leg braces.
Eddie’s Condition Was Much Worse
The only thing handicapped about Eddie was his body. His mind and spirit were stronger than any five, so-called, normal people. His father had made sure of that. His dad had been racing from work to home and then to school for almost six years devoting whatever spare time he had to what his son wanted to accomplish. He would drop Eddie off at class and then, most nights, go sleep in his car in the school parking lot. Many nights, the temperature in that parking lot was below freezing, but this sixty-year-old man NEVER complained.
Who Was Really Handicapped, Eddie Or Me?
As much as I marveled at how well Eddie did in spite of being disabled, his father amazed me even more. He was like so many heroes that we never hear about standing off in the shadows so that someone else can thrive. After I finished my stew, I pushed Eddie outside to where his dad was waiting. He shook my hand and said: “Son, without your help tonight, we’d have really been in a terrible fix.”
He Called Me “Son”
As I watched him wheel Eddie back toward their car in the parking lot, I pushed my long hair back and pulled my helmet over my head. The chinstrap I left unbuckled on these short rides because it always got tangled in my beard. I rode the two short blocks back to my apartment with the sight of Eddie and his dad burned into the front of my psyche. I knew I had witnessed something special tonight, I just didn’t know yet how special it truly was or would then become.
Now, I had an entirely new reason for getting to school on time. I was not going to let that diminutive older man pull that wheelchair up those stairs one more time — not if I could help it. I was never late again for the rest of that semester, as Eddie and I became fast friends with he and his dad even visiting my apartment on more than one occasion. I became a real master at pulling that sled of his up the stairs, and we often got help from other male students as we made the climb.
Eddie told me in confidence one day that I had been good for his dad. I thought he was referring to the physical exertion I had save him, and Eddie said: “No, it’s more than that. My dad has never liked anyone with long hair and a beard, and he told my mother the other night that you were the first. He then went on to say that maybe it was just hair and that he shouldn’t let things like that bother him anymore.” I was both flattered and gratified that he saw something in me, something that I still may not have seen in myself.
Mr. Hudak had been a World War 2 veteran and participated as a Chaplain’s Assistant in such major conflicts as D-Day and The Battle Of The Bulge. His Jeep had sunk in deep water during the D-Day landing, and he and the Chaplain had to swim two hundred yards to shore amidst enemy fire. He was a great man in the tradition of all great men who provide unselfish and heroic service while asking for nothing in return. In many ways, I secretly wished that he had been my dad too.
My father had also been in World War 2 as a Marine and fought many engagements in the South Pacific. He was a hero to me, but the difference between my father and Mr. Hudak was, my dad loved me, but he didn’t seem interested in my life now. He didn’t approve of my studying Philosophy, and he couldn’t understand why I hadn’t chosen a more conventional career path like the sons of so many of his friends.
In Ways I Couldn’t Understand, I Think I Embarrassed My Father
What my dad didn’t know was, that underneath the long hair and beard, my beliefs were a little to the right of Attila The ***. Unfortunately, we never had a serious conversation where he could have discovered that.
The semester finally came to an end and the Christmas holidays were now upon us. It was cold weather to be riding a motorcycle but, when that’s all you have. then that’s what you ride. On the last day of class before break, Mr. Hudak pulled me aside. “My wife Marge and I are having a little party next Saturday night, and we’d like you to come.” Everything inside me was trying to find an excuse not to go, but all I was capable of was shaking my head yes and thanking this great man for the kind invitation.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to meet his family. It was that I literally had nothing to wear and only the motorcycle to get me there. My entire wardrobe consisted of two pairs of jeans, three t-shirts, and one beige fisherman’s knit sweater that I had bought at a local discount store. I still hadn’t worn the sweater, and the tags were still on it. I kept telling myself I was saving it for a special occasion. Well, what could be more special than meeting Mr. Hudak’s family. The afternoon of the party I removed the tags from the sweater and ran down to the Laundromat and washed my newest jeans.
Eddie had told me that the get together would start around seven, but I could arrive anytime I wanted. As I pulled the motorcycle up in front of their brick row house, I looked for a place to park the bike where it wouldn’t stand out. I already looked like a child of the sixties, and the motorcycle would only give them something else to focus on that might be misleading.
My fears were totally unfounded as I walked through the front door. Mr. Hudak greeted me warmly, as Eddie yelled out in a voice all could hear: “My buddy Kurt’s here.” My buddy Kurt! Those words have stayed with me and have provided sustenance during times when I thought my life was tough. All I had to do in those moments was think of Eddie and what he and his family had been through, and my pity party for myself ended almost quicker than it began.
“My Buddy Kurt’s Here”
No sooner did I wave to Eddie than Mrs. Hudak came bouncing out of the kitchen. Literally bouncing! This tiny woman of 5’1’’ came bounding across the dining room floor and immediately reached up and threw both of her arms around my neck. She squeezed hard and it felt good. It was real and she wanted me to know that. Eddie had also explained to me how physically strong his mother was. It was the result of having to carry him up and down two flights of stairs from his bedroom to their recreation room in the basement below. She did this several times a day.
I don’t know how high the heat was set to in their house that night, but I had never felt so warm — or accepted. To an outsider like me it even looked like love, which I was to find out shortly is exactly what it was. I wanted to take my heavy sweater off, but I had nothing on underneath but an old t-shirt. Mrs. Hudak’s name was Marge, and she was from an old Irish family named McCarty. When she first saw me earlier, after I had removed my jacket, she said: “What a lovely sweater, shorin it tis.”
It Felt Like Love
I spent that night getting to know everyone, and in no time felt like one of the family. At ten o’clock the guests started to leave and Marge took me into the kitchen. “Can you stay a little while longer, because at eleven there is someone who I want you to meet?” I said sure, as she fed me more cake and cookies telling me that they were baked special by the evening’s mystery guest.
At eleven fifteen the front door opened with an “I’m home,” coming from a young woman’s voice. As I stood up, a flash of white turned the corner and entered the kitchen. There in her finest nurse’s regalia, stood Eddie’s younger sister, Kathryn, who had just finished the evening shift at Nazareth Hospital in North Philadelphia.
“WOW, WAS SHE SOMETHING,” is all I could hear myself saying as she took her first look at me. “So, this is the guy I’ve heard so much about huh,” she said as she walked to the refrigerator. “Based on my brother’s description, I thought you would have been at least ten feet tall.” Mildly sarcastic for sure, but I was smitten right away.
Later, I heard her on the phone with someone who sounded like her boyfriend. They seemed to be fighting, and I sensed from the look on her dad’s face that they weren’t crazy about him either. He said: “I hope it’s over,” and in less than a minute Kathryn came into the living room with tears in her eyes. As she ran up the stairs to her bedroom, you could hear her say, “What A ****!” I prayed she wasn’t referring to me.
Her mother ran up the stairs after her but before she did, she asked me not to leave. Ten minutes later she came back downstairs and said: “You haven’t finished your cookies and cake in the kitchen.”
Marge was right, and I really wanted to finish them, but I was now starting to feel uncomfortable and in the middle of something that wasn’t for me to see or hear. Not wanting to seem rude, I followed her back to the kitchen table and sat down as she refilled my glass with milk. “So, what are your plans for the holidays,” she asked, as I wolfed down the sweets.
“Oh, nothing much,” I said, “just schoolwork and my job at the gas station.” “And how about New Year’s Eve she asked?” “Oh, nothing planned, probably just go see my grandparents and then watch the ball drop on TV in my apartment if I make it till twelve”. “Why don’t you ask Kathryn out” she said, as her eyes twinkled? I thought I must have been hearing things and looked baffled, so she repeated it again…
Why Don’t You Ask Kathryn Out
This kindly woman, from this great family, was suggesting that I take their pride and joy daughter, Kathyrn, out for New Year’s Eve. I didn’t know what to say. “Why don’t you think about it? I’ll bet the two of you would have fun. I think based on tonight she is now free for New Year’s Eve too.”
I was literally in shock and not prepared for this. I had recently broken up with a long-term girlfriend who I had dated all through high school and college. I had convinced myself that I needed a break from girls for a while, and now here I was faced with dating Mr. Hudak’s only daughter. In a few minutes, Marge walked out of the kitchen and Kathryn walked back in. She was now dressed in her pajamas and robe. If I had been smitten before, I was totally taken now.
I knew the first thing I said might be my last, so after a long pause I uttered: “So, I hear you’re not doing anything for New Years Eve?” Not the best ice breaker as she yelled out to her mother: “Mommmmm, what did you tell him.” Her mother didn’t answer. I said again: “Kathy, please don’t take it the wrong way, I don’t have a date for New Year’s either.” She looked at me for what seemed like an eternity, that in reality lasted for just a few seconds, before saying: “And just where do you propose we should go, Mr. Wonderful?” Thank God I had an answer.
The Ice Had Broken
“Zaberers,” I said: “They’re open twenty-four hours. They have dinner and dancing and then a big show right after midnight.” “Zaberers, huh,” she said, as she looked at me once more. “All right, you can pick me up at eight.” With that, I didn’t want to push my luck. I thanked her parents for the wonderful evening and wanted to say good night to Eddie, but he had already gone to bed. That was what Marge was doing on her second trip upstairs — what a woman!!!
What A Woman Indeed!
Kathy and I had a great time on that first date on New Years Eve. All we really talked about was her father and about how hard he had struggled to keep the family together and how lucky he was to have found a woman like Marge who was the love of his life.
Kathy and I were engaged to be married just nine weeks later on March 5th,, and then married that fall on September 22nd 1974. I was now a real part of the family that I had admired from afar. Kathy and I had two children, and Marge and Ed were the best grandparents that two kids could ever have hoped for. They were lucky enough to see both of their grandchildren grow into adulthood and attend their college graduations. They were also able to proudly attend the wedding of their oldest grandchild, our daughter Melissa.
We lost Ed Hudak, my father-in-law, my guardian, and my friend, last December, and the world has been a little less bright with only the memory of him here now. In many ways, he was the best of what we are all still trying to become, and his spirit remains inside us during the times of our greatest need.
For me though, I’ll never forget the time of our first meeting. That late September afternoon when I looked up those stairs at St Joe’s and not a word needed to be said. Here was a Saint of a man doing what real men do and doing it quietly. With humble dignity, his spirit reached out to me that day and filled an empty place inside of me with his love.
Now, forty years later, that same spirit occupies a bigger and bigger place in my life. From somewhere deep inside my soul it continues to live on, and I know for as long as I can remember — it will never let me go.
And I Called Him … ‘The Chief’
