when your body spasms
           you force back screams
the pain is inside
smashing your hand
          into your head
to make thoughts stop
to focus the pain
somewhere else
               clawing at skin
trying to stop that pain
                   internal pain
                       that echoes your head
          and radiates down your spine
     its an addiction
    to change internal pain
into external
                             so i can sleep at night
                                       dream (nightmare) free