No one in their right mind would walk through the wilderness, no, they'd avoid it,

imagine the snakes snaking and the wolves taking you in, even thinking you were a little bit thin, but you'd do for a snack, oh yes, everything out there will attack you and them bears, yes, them bears will track you and I don't mean GPS.

Jeeez it's downright scary
birds of prey waiting to devour me
and those things with stripes
thinking I'm ripe for the ****.

But I will not give way to my fears
nor fall prey to the laughter of my peers
I shall instead stay indoors watching
Attenborough
with a couple of beers.