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Oct 2013
So many things rush throug my mind. Memories, feelings, things that now seem like lies. I trusted again and it took so much this time.

You reminded me of the day I never came by. How sad you were, even pictures where you cried. You see the reason was still to protect you inside... I knew your hurt, I never wanted to see that side. I promised myself to give you my all, hence why there was never that knock on your door. You had me fight hard for me to reach a point where for you my heart was released. Yours to hold, yours to keep.

You made it hard with the confusion you claimed as watching you kiss other girls, leaving me behind to find with in me the trust to be bound, to the love I now look at with a heart that drowns. The tears you told me was over me was in actual fact for the lover that knocked, more lies and deceat.

I kept my cool, I knew it was real, the love for you I started to feel. I closed my eyes and took the step you now want me to see as regret. I could never have you see what I saw... The girls you tried to keep. Knowing my past you pulled the ace that slammed our dreams back in my face. I tried keeping you safe while you found yourself deep, in a place darker than the nights I held you while screaming yet you were fast asleep. The first shot was hard, the sting felt deep, deeper than any scars in me. I shruged it of and stood by your side no matter how hard I had to fight. For reminding you how precious you are meant far more than my silly scars. We made it out to the light, our love now free to remind me again you are forever in me. Marry me one day I heard you breath in a moment we both thought could never be. I wanted to scream, i wanted to shout, yes my love please,  forever I'll love you, I promise you me.

My tumble in life came when I tried to see to a brighter future for you and me. I tried to stand tall but I fell on my knees, for I looked around to find just me. Away on business, you told me, was actually ripping us apart, another girl other than me.

I accepted your words as truth told to me that you would never hurt me like that, you loved only me.

Confused at times over words that cut deep, I thank you for reminding me why my scars were so deep. Taking a knive, you ripped us appart...

Questions still hang fresh in the air but now I know, the answers are there. A truth hidden deep in the scars you have left. I would have loved you forever, beyond my last breath.
Nikki Wolmarans
Written by
Nikki Wolmarans
714
   Patricia Tsouros
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