When I die I don't want a funeral I don't want a memorial; maybe something for just my parents and my kids. the rest of the people out there in the world, I don't want them there I don't need them there. I realized after my surgery's when I was stuck home not allowed to do anything for months on end the only person that showed up and showed out was Nevaeh and even then I felt like **** for even having to ask her to be there for me because she's a teenager and she should be out doing teenager things not washing her mother's hair helping her get anything out of the cupboards helping her mother bathe basically do everything thing because i wasn't allowed to do anything myself. Did a single one of the people that called me friend come to help? no. My bestest friend of all time, was she there to even look me in the eye once? No. Did any single person that said they'd be there, even show up? No. Not a single one of them would help me in life there's no need for them to mourn me in death.