dear you, i wonder if i will ever have to specify who you are. if there will ever be another boy i will write so many poems about, so many poems to. you were the first. you haven't been the only, but then again you haven't been the only anything. there have been many since you. so many that i've begun to lost track, there have even been girls. when i met you i was homophobic, but look at me now. look how i've changed since i met you. look how i've fallen. when i fell for you i fell down the rabbit hole. i took too much shrinking potion, yet at the same time i'll always crave more. if i'm smaller when i see you will you love me again? is there even an again to be had? i'll never know for sure, so i've let myself believe that you loved me. that you could again. but part of me knows that our time is over. i can't accept it. i can't let you go. dear. i'm afraid to let you go because there is no one else to hold onto. there is no one like you. i can't breathe. it's been two years and i can't breathe. i don't want it to be three, or four, or more. i want my oxygen back, i want you. i can pray to god a thousand times and i will still want you. only you. pretend that i'm your soulmate and kiss me. one more time?