you watched me like a specimen
as I ripped myself open to you
in every inch
of my infected mind
without a word you gazed
upon something that had fallen
so far from grace with a curiosity
of a morbidly astounished
passerby.

you were better than you mocking me
like I'm just an excrement,
better than you playing pretend that you love me
and ensuring the most gain
of my ensured loss
from the plans of your getaway

I've called to God so many times
in maggot infested trenches and
the only answers were
ever in my prayers,
someone must be there
to treat me right
respect me
so that I may try to love
again.

For now it's a disgust
to try for anyone's lips,
a deep despair in the
theory of your embrace,
some shame like it a stain
upon my name.
but these old ways slowly
wash away with
each day,
my past of a broken love
drains down the drain.

and if you were here to stay
if you wanted to be by my side
and you were here to stay
to love me right everyday,
I'd take you to be- be you as you may.