Jan 5
MY GHOST CHATTING TO MYSELF
knife flashes through flesh
the stunned silence
the wild scream of red
the pastpresentfuture
flows from the wound
time is thicker than blood
the assassination of Time
the body dying
to its sense of self
the world
leaking into
nothingness
my ghost
chatting to my self
in an amiable manner
the dead enemy
staring at
my dying
my friend whispers
"I'm not going to let you
die in this jungle!"
never thought I'd live to be
the old man
I am now
the friend who saved me
dead
only a week later
still remember the stare
of the Japanese soldier
looking bewildered he was dead.
*
What it takes to be a soldier...**** or be killed...he told me that he still sees that man every day of his life...the sweat on his skin...the sweet smell of his breath...the shadow of his eyelashes..
It was like watching a human being being turned inside out....the act of killing somehow dehumanises you...it doesn't matter that in this hand-to-hand fighting you literally come face to face with the person who is basically just another you and you...**** him by making this him ...an IT...**** or be killed but you also **** a part of your self to do it...the fall out is like an emotional atomic bomb that blights the rest of your life and poisons your future...it stops you being a normal human being...you know both what death is and what it is like to be death.
knife flashes through flesh
the stunned silence
the wild scream of red
the pastpresentfuture
flows from the wound
time is thicker than blood
the assassination of Time
the body dying
to its sense of self
the world
leaking into
nothingness
my ghost
chatting to my self
in an amiable manner
the dead enemy
staring at
my dying
my friend whispers
"I'm not going to let you
die in this jungle!"
never thought I'd live to be
the old man
I am now
the friend who saved me
dead
only a week later
still remember the stare
of the Japanese soldier
looking bewildered he was dead.
*
What it takes to be a soldier...**** or be killed...he told me that he still sees that man every day of his life...the sweat on his skin...the sweet smell of his breath...the shadow of his eyelashes..
It was like watching a human being being turned inside out....the act of killing somehow dehumanises you...it doesn't matter that in this hand-to-hand fighting you literally come face to face with the person who is basically just another you and you...**** him by making this him ...an IT...**** or be killed but you also **** a part of your self to do it...the fall out is like an emotional atomic bomb that blights the rest of your life and poisons your future...it stops you being a normal human being...you know both what death is and what it is like to be death.
