Evertime
I think I understand
I've finally figured it out
How to feel better

I lose the thread
Unraveld to knots
Displayed in my hands

It ends up leaving me
As empty as before
Drops on hot stone
Vaporizing in an instant

Running after firsts
First kiss, ***, realationship
More friends, better friends
Opening up more

Find work, find better work
Don't get sick again,
Stay healthy

Work out,
Get stronger,
Look better

Travel to the other side of the world
Away from what you know
Different places, same ****

What's next on the agenda?
A child?
A family?

Colletreal damage
In the making
The joker is missing from the deck

I need to fix myself first
Unhealthy means unable
To provide and protect
And what am I worth then?

In the meantime
I grow lonely, needy
I get lost again and again
Circumstances are never ideal

Why even bother
Trying to find a suitable partner
Against the odds

Just to let new, old problems surface
Time to get messed up, again
Designed to fail from the start
"Don't fall for the first person you meet"

You can only go step by step
For so long
What steps to what end again?

How can I be stuck
Now
In a stalemate?

All I asked for was
To be better
To be heathy
And to be at peace

Where did I go wrong?
I followed my instincts
Trying to do the right thing
Like everyone else

How am I supposed to walk the right path?
It remains hidden in the dark
Next to all these bright ones
Out shining me

I'm left guessing
And I'm guessing wrong

If I look up
I still can't see the summit
Hidden in the clouds

If I look down
I get dizzy from the height
Seeing how far I've come

The further I go the thinner the air
I'm out of breath, of will, of life
A lack of substance

If I think to much
About the path I'm on
All the crossroads and obstacles ahead
I panic and trip

But
If I manage to hold on
To take a moment
and catch my air

Then it s that I can see
Just for a glimpse

How beautiful the view
And exciting the journey

Before I go on
Get back to managing it