Family is tough but that love is real. Cousins get mad and worry for you. Told not to cry, don't be a *****. As we grow older it's hard to express yourself. Show emotions to your partner. Life should get easier but childhood habits complicate things.
Always looked up to them and ended up disappointed telling yourself to be better. Do better seeking a role model not another don't be like that life lesson. Open to grow change for the better life is full of lessons Be open to grow and learn.
Only if it was easy to unlearn and relearn these bad habits that have been normal. Always the outsider looking in. Once inside you do your best to survive. Someone is always threatened or sees you as the bad one when they've done worse. Quick to throw you under to cover their ***.