I thought screaming and crying into your pillow ended after you turn 16 but now I think that helpless anger never goes away. It’s like something is overflowing out of your eyes, nose, mouth and ears. It feels like you could pick up a car and throw it into a building, listen as glass shatters all over the ground. I am so angry. I rolled a joint using my mom’s **** because I have no money and I feel a little better. The red has turned into an orange/yellow. But it’s still there. I want to turn my phone off and hide away in my tower. No ladder, no landline no way to reach me even though no one will try. No one cares if I’m there or not. They never have and never will.