I’m full, there is no room inside of me every bone has been dipped in a thick coat of something sweet or sick and every crevice has been poured all over, now bowls of mixed icky stews – I am full there is no room for another hand or fingerprint or lemon poundcake
I am full, but I feel bare; and I still don’t want you there
my body is heavy with gooey webs of ghoul guilt and there is pressure on my chest to pick myself up, and get on with it even as evil weighs me down, tires me down, pries me down, and laughs at me struggling
I feel so full there is no room to be smiled at or even looked at; there is no more room to store your stories or secrets or tears or trust; it’ll all come falling down like the London bridge and I’d collapse underneath, into poisonous gasps and groans of relief that finally, I get to die.
I am full but I feel so empty and I don’t want to die, but I want to die; but I mostly don’t want to die; I just feel so empty and I don’t want to be around you because it doesn’t make it any easier for me to love me