I thought it was over.
I thought that,
Because I found you,
The torture would end.

I thought that because
You loved me
The sleepless nights
The fear of desolation
The lonely tears
Would be over.

I thought that
Because we were together
I would never have to
Beg for love again.

I thought that because you saw me
For the mess that I am
And made me believe
That you loved me anyway,
I had come home.

But you changed your mask
And ran an ocean away from me.
Leaving me drowning
And desperate for your attention.

I threw you every rope,
Gave you every chance
To show me that you still cared.
But your hollow words
Cracked beneath the weight
Of your apathy.

Your nearsightedness
Turned you blind to me.
While I swam to you every day,
Hoping that you could see me
From the beaches of Cornwall.

But you turned your back to the waves
Leaving me to start all over.
Over and over,
Every morning.

Silly me, I thought you meant what you said.
I thought forever meant forever.
I thought when you said you wanted me,
You meant you wanted me.

So you say it’s too heavy,
But you keep adding stones to the scale.
You keep saying we’re drowning,
But you won’t let me up for air.

We’re headed for a cliff,
But my love it’s your foot on the gas.
I know the light looks pretty
Passing quickly by the windows
But I fear we won’t survive this fall.

So I thought
Because you met me in the dark
And made me believe
That you’d always shine a light on me
That it had all been worth it.

That every storm I had endured
Was worth the strength it took
To crawl out of the wind
And drag myself to shelter.

But your winds are whistling
And it’s rained most days since you left.
You’re just another blustering squall
Disguised as the love of my life.