Alone at night
I find myself wide-eyed
Clutching sheets with white knuckles
Peering out from under the covers
Hiding like a child
Keeping myself
Holding myself together
Under these sheets
Under the weight of cotton
So I don't fly away.

Stealing my breath tight in my chest I count to ten
With cheeks turning red
And five fingers reaching into the darkness
Stretching themselves into nothingness
Until they spring back
To hold my cotton fortress steadfast
Against the tyranny of night.

The grumbling and groaning of the house
Churns my stomach
And I sink into these sheets
With my breath coming back at me
As I hide beneath covers
And sing a song that makes me happy
But it sounds all wrong
And as a last resort
I reach over to the other side of this big bed
And put my hand on your warm skin
And instead of complaining;

You stretch out your arm
And pull me into you
And in that moment, I know.