He got another call for the transplant it was a no go within the guidelines. It ruined his day and he still went to work.
Doing extra he wanted to be a lead, but was behind the scenes. Biting his lip because he was waiting for the surgery. Holding back because he knew he'd be out recovering.
Those calls get him worked up then burnt out when he got the bad news. He'd reflect on his life asking "what he did wrong?" Asking when and "why hasn't it happened yet?"
Writing helped him put life into perspective. Trying to write his story and control his narrative. He couldn't explain or find the words.