I don't trust myself
when I promise I'm fine
I don't believe I could ever let go of you.
I will never stop thinking
appraising possibilities in my mind
about what would have happened
if only I ... never kissed you
is it true that you would have wanted me more?
maybe if I were an expert
at some love mind game
we would be sitting by each other
instead of me lying by myself
writing this attempt of a letter
which by the way you will never read.
I don't trust myself
when my mind is filled with hopes
and in my dreams I breathe you in.
I don't trust myself
when you are nearby
because I'm afraid I might reveal
those angry, desperate feelings
that make you run away.
I don't trust myself
when I've had too much to drink
because I always blurt out this mess of a mind
and I'm always on the verge of either slapping you in the face or...
trying to kiss you.
I don't trust myself
when I'm around you
but it's all because of you.
You manipulate me with your words
but you make me fall in love with your eyes
when you look at me across the room.
I don't trust you
because everything you do or don't
makes me believe in a yes
but it always transforms to a never.
I don't trust myself
because every time I try to move on
you come around and clutter everything up.