If the human race is a species
based on community for it's survival,
why are there mechanisms,
that make living together harder?

When mating and reproduction
is my basic,
animalistic task in life,
then why is there a feeling like embarrassment
or shame
that stops me,
freezes me in my tracks?
Preventing me from fufillment

If evolution is adaption to the enviroment
why is the system so inconvenient,
so complex and fragile, unintuitive
why am I so flawed?

Our survival measures can be as dangerous to us
as the threats they protect us from
Survival makes up most of our life
You either build up, maintain, protect or recover.
Happiness is not necessary part of that desgin,
desirable yet not crucial to the construct,
a mean to an end.

Why is there a build in conflict of interest
between my body and mind
so
me and myself?
What I need versus what I want?

What's the point
to all this complications,
to all this struggle?
My life is designed to end, sure
But then why make it so hard,
so easy to become miserable
and so hard to remain fulfilled?

Society is the logical answer to survivability
against nature.
But it's also feels like poison
Poison to my mind,
polution to my bones.