my mind is fogged...colors faded to black & white.

my heart is broken...aching & too weak to fight.

all i want to do is sleep...sleep...sleep...sleep...

because at least in my dreams, you're with me

at least in my dreams, i am yours & you are mine.

i wake up & feel the pain in my heart...the reality reminding me.

i shut my eyes closed tight

i roll over to face the wall

and i squeeze my pillow tighter

a single warm tear rolls down my cheek & i can hear it as it plops onto my forever-tear-stained pillow.

the stars & mars watch over me as i lay there curled into a tight ball...nausea nights

i walk outside in my winter coat...find a spot where the snow is fluffiest, i spread out my arms and allow myself to fall backwards until i'm facing the sun...you come join me as we lay there...you turn your head to look at me & that's where we stay

the memories of us flood my mind with faded edges & an aesthetic filter hanging over it like vintage film cameras.

beige

take me back to the days i felt happiest.

there's still so much we haven't done...

promise me you'll think of me when you're ready...

promise me you'll think of me when you're better...

promise me you'll try.