I wanted to write you a poem
I wanted it to be sweet and full of light
But catch me alone with pen and some paper
And the vibe is everything but right.

The pen will start to wander,
Just as far as my head allows
And I'm trying to make it loving,
But my creativity doesn't know how.

I can describe the uneasiness,
The back and forth, or even the pain
But ask me for the sweetness
And it just isn't the same.

See when they ask me about love
I answer with words of heartbreak
It's hard to describe a feeling
When it's always been a mistake.

I could write a poem,
I could rhyme some words together
But would it really mean anything
If it was just small talk like the weather?

I wish I knew how to talk about it
Or what I even need to talk about
It's not that I'm avoiding
I just literally don't know how.

Words used to come easy,
I over shared and I was burned
And now I just observe my thoughts
And I swallow all the words.

It's hard to expose myself
I've done enough of that in the past
So I'm quieting the noise
But the silence doesn't last.

I find myself fighting to hang on
Some days it's easier said than done
But I'm answering all the calls
In hopes that you're the one.

I'm spending time alone
But don't think that I am lonely
I'm enjoying my peace
And just waiting for you to come hold me.

I watch the phone all day
I thought it was bad before
But I'm glued to my screen
In hopes I get to hear that voice some more.