Self Diagnosis


An elder       of the family        said

    you know    Ryan,           you

never             smiled as       a child

    there’s a                        photo

of you           at            communion

  them days        one    was     only

ever       asked       to  watch    the

   birdie         which to               my

mind                    was       invisible

          like                   pain

now             everyone has         a

       cheery               grin

even         without               being

    requested to          say

cheese                and        mobile

phones    have      no  budgies

     yet          they can          tweet

there’s               a lot           of

       blank                        spaces

in          my        life

­                                    and   now

as          I     try      to    negotiate

    
     this       maze    of   darkness

in          an       effort              to

    locate       the      root     cause

of       my unhappiness       and

    feigning                         elation

just          to      appease

                         ­         convention

these                                gaps

 ­     are       a                testimony

to        those                period­s

     of                unconsciousness

when              I          d­iscovered

        that         anaesthetics

could        be             dispensed

          without

                               prescription

PS

When I was a baby I cried and cried

                         unlike most infants I was not breast

fed because someone told my mother

                          to put a little whiskey in a the bottle

as it would make me sleep. I feel as

                           though I may well have been a full

blown alcoholic before I was three.

                                When I was 16 I had a duodenal

ulcer treated with Tagamet® now

                              a banned drug. I inherited chronic

candida in my intestine due to all

                             of the natural flora being killed off.