I’m not in pursuit
Without goals, or motivation, impulse, or drive
No visions of grandeur
That I myself can contrive
My support’s without question
From my family and friends
But I can’t conquer the demons
In the war waged within
I strive to be good
To not look too out of place
Hidden in plain sight
With a smile on my face
As the years turn to decades
And people die and are born
I’m in the middle with stage fright
Too scared to perform
Without a direction
Not chasing a dream
I’ve become too complacent
With my story and theme

Nothing tickles my fancy
Or have I yet to be swept off my feet
I’m numb to loves notion
That’s filled with myth and mystique
No amount of money, or women
Can bring me relief
Or the clock that keeps ticking
Knowing my time here is brief
I go through the motions
I attempt and resist
And despite my own mindset
I’m still here; I exist
I sabotage my progression
I’m aware and concerned
I only write what I’m saying
To keep it stored and preserved
Or maybe until this curse is reversed
Then I can contribute to life
While I’m still here on earth
And I’ll be the envy of many
For having purpose; self worth
And justify my existence
As to why I’m still alive since my birth