I squeeze what's left of me

  Tired of pleading.
I scroll through walls of shapeless consumerist
talent show entries, all yelling to be picked.

I'm suceptible to the game too. All for money like a *****.
1 step from putting a ***** up my *** and eating fish larvae
In a bucket like a good mukbanger.
I HATE humanity
I HATE being here.

I HATE being cheated and losing my capacity for love and trust, always on edge.

I don't want to compete anymore. I want silence,   but  I can't drown out the noise, like tinnitus
Drilled into my skull
It's always been this way. But now I'm desperate. & There's no more suppressing it