Hello I am a recovering doormat

I have some things to say
Mainly to the people - who won't care anyway

How was I supposed to feel secure
After all the things I had to endure
After you treated me like a pest
Even when I tried my best
All I did was try to make you proud
Even when my mind got loud
With all the evil things that you'd  say
Like you never loved me anyway

You raised me to be your puppet

Then when I wouldn't play along
You told me I was in the wrong
No wonder I looked for love in all the worst places
You stole my self worth and told me that's what grace is

So I split myself into a hundred pieces

To try to solve the puzzle you dumped on me
To try to fit into this 'family'
You even used God to shame me
But in my heart I know he doesn't  blame me

You were the ones that shattered my mind

Then you pointed and said "look she's crazy"
You stole my motivation  waited til I was down and said "look she's  so lazy"
I was your therapist and only friend
And you destroyed me in the end

I  could have forgiven ALL of that

But then you took from me all I hold dear
You stole my reality and handed me fear
You poisoned my oldest child against me
When I wouldn't  be like you - you took my family

I don't  get to see my babies grow up now
Because of your twisted half truths and filthy lies
I want so badly to move on but I don't  know how
I try to smother my rage and just pray it dies

But then I remember their faces, thier  laughter
And all the life that comes after
Our final goodbyes
With tears in my eyes
I plead with God to guide me
To place His peace back inside me

The peace you took from me
That you spit on and lit on fire
But you just wait and see
Well I'll rise from the funeral pyre
And finally set myself free