Foot Long

When home alone, I wear no clothes,
when people walk by I strike a pose.
All my neighbors seem to enjoy,
of course I'm more ******* than the water boy.
I always make sure no kids are watching,
my ***** always look like their boxing.
You'd walk naked too, if you're thing was a foot long,
me and Tommy Lee seem to get along.
Been offered millions of times to be in ****,
women love to honk it like a horn.
When I wear clothes, they must be baggy,
I have less brain cells than ****** and Shaggy.
Can't drive a car or ride a bike,
I wear a helmet whenever I hitch hike.
Can't get laid, but girls love to touch,
I seem to like it if its to much.
Don't know my a, b, c's, can't count to ten,
sometimes I squirt more than an exploding pen.
Yesterday they put me in a special home,
from my mouth, I always seem to foam.
They wont let me walk in the ****,
the people here are so **** *****.
I fell in love with my nurse,
I guess things could be worse.
When the doctors found out,
they put me in a straitjacket,
now how am I supposed to whack it.