Sometimes I don’t know how to act because my fingers still shake thinking about 5 years ago and I used to be blonder, skinnier, happier? No not happier. And I feel like I’ve lost so much time being unhappy. I’ve had this watch for 4 years but it’s had thousands of different me’s. And what if I’m just lying to the people who love me the most about who I really am? When I yell at my parents, when I cry to my pillow, when I forget to brush my teeth? I’ve taken the same pill every day for 3 years. And most boys will only be nice if they think you’re hot and you know how to keep your mouth shut. But sometimes words pour out of my mouth like flames and I fly away like the lonely, ugly beast that I am because who could ever love a woman with an opinion? But the last 2 years have shown me that friends will be gained and lost, cars will be crashed from drunk drivers and money will be spent. Sheets will be ruined and sometimes days will be too. Time keeps ticking. In the last year I’ve loved and I’ve lost and I’ve cried and thrown up and grown up and panicked and lost and fought and I’ve lived.