Jul 2023
juvenile
with your harsh profanities
and gritty teeth
grabbing ahold of me
puncturing my flesh
i want to be more like God
and i’m trying so hard
i read inspirational poetry books in the mirror
and around you,
i smile in fear
do things rehearsed and pre-planned and you don’t even notice
because the main focus
is you
façade strong
happy blushing faces all day long
that’s not who i am
and you’re the one who should know me best
but you don’t.
and i don’t understand how you plan
to take me down to the pits of the earth’s core
because i want to be more
like who i adore
and that’s just not you.
with your harsh profanities
and gritty teeth
grabbing ahold of me
puncturing my flesh
i want to be more like God
and i’m trying so hard
i read inspirational poetry books in the mirror
and around you,
i smile in fear
do things rehearsed and pre-planned and you don’t even notice
because the main focus
is you
façade strong
happy blushing faces all day long
that’s not who i am
and you’re the one who should know me best
but you don’t.
and i don’t understand how you plan
to take me down to the pits of the earth’s core
because i want to be more
like who i adore
and that’s just not you.
i want to be more of myself without you. it’s always you, you, you and never “how are you?”
and it’s just…i’m looking for the bare minimum over here and you won’t even give me that. how do you think i feel about that? and i don’t care about some teenage antics, i just don’t care anymore. and that’s just how it is. i don’t understand why we have to bring down others for the sake of bringing ourselves up. it just makes me realize you aren’t a good friend, but you think you are and that’s the scary part.
7/10/23
and it’s just…i’m looking for the bare minimum over here and you won’t even give me that. how do you think i feel about that? and i don’t care about some teenage antics, i just don’t care anymore. and that’s just how it is. i don’t understand why we have to bring down others for the sake of bringing ourselves up. it just makes me realize you aren’t a good friend, but you think you are and that’s the scary part.
7/10/23
