I don't know whether to be glad or sad
that sometimes it's easy yet sometimes it's hard
I don’t know whether to be amazed at how how well I wear these scars
for I wear them better than a clear night wears the stars
I don't know whether to pat myself in the back for finally having the courage to leave
or for the strength in me still telling me to stay a little longer,
I don't know whether to smile or to grieve
I don't know whether to be selfish enough to understand
that the wreckage of our affection cannot be salvaged
or just stay in your cold shoulders hoping that someday we'll drift to the shores...
It's heaven when it's good, but the hell of it has burnt my heart to ashes
and yes, our love is a cat, 9 lives but I am weakened each day that passes
I don't know how to live without this soothing pain you cause me
but maybe beyond the pleasure of a life without you lies a pain worth hurting for
So today I say no to the fear of losing,
I am taking back the kindness you're abusing,
We've fought all the wars it takes to find peace, I am fed up of bruising
you're my addiction and today I have quit using...