I want to be safe
always in the arms of someone
or kept close by
held by the hand
guided with a hand on my back
and be told everything is ok
all the time

how foolish
how dependent

but i walk alone
always keep a distance
tell myself i'm happy
i'm great
i'm safe
hold my own

while the fear dances in my stomach
in my chest
tickling my throat
making my body ache

why don't i let myself go
why do i hold a wall inside
when all i want so badly
so excruciatingly badly is to connect
be taken care of
express that i need help
need love
need safety

will i be like this till im dead inside
or will i break down my wall and let my demons go