sometimes I think
I wander
what is the point in it all?!
sometimes the pain
that I feel so deep
INSIDE
feels just too much too
bear
to meet myself inside
with all my pains
dissapointments
wishing pains
of laughter
feel so lonely
it hurts to breathe
when I sit in therapy
struggling to breathe
to be present
it feels chokin
to feel the pain
of being alive
to feel the pain
of the past
that is no longer present
except within
to ask questions to my pain
and to hear it responding
but maybe there is a purpose
to it all
eventhough
its so painful
maybe my pain matters alot.
maybe my body always loves me
what if ive been taught lies all this time
that I don't matter
I don't count
and that I should just shrink down
and dissapear
no maybe
I was meant to be a change in the world,
to see that the pain internally
is reflected by what is not in alignment
in my life ,
to recenter myself
realign my life
and to live a life with greater meaning
even if that sometimes includes some pain.