I have robbed myself
And cried at your result
Oh how I feel like sobbing at your name
They told me you were sweet
They told it was like drowning in honey
But your cruelty has become a taunt for generations
Love
For me you were a false allegation
Where secrets impaled every word between us
Everything has fallen to a grinding halt
And I feel n o t h i n g -
Like a forgotten lamppost
An old rug soaked in canine ****;
An amputees stump: hollow.
My calendar still has marks for our hours to spend together
My mouth cannot bear the taste of someone else
I stare at my mugshot in the mirror
And tell myself I am the victim
But my veins hold me to account
I was a willing accomplice
I let him take all the empty spaces in my heart
And left me no room to grow
I let it feel strong and terrifying
I felt he'd loved me harder than anything I've ever known
And I swallowed it whole
Thoroughly, completely
I wanted him all
Little did I know
I'd entered a civil war
Where my thighs would bear the marks of collateral damage
My mind would spill the spoils