last night i lay in bed
in that calm post-sob
my eyelids swelled and red
weighed down by thoughts of
disappointment
i thought i could be strong
my eyes red, veins visible
like mapping out a red river
on a starch white globe
you called me and let me fall asleep to
the silence
like we usually do
except it left a more bitter taste in my mouth
this morning, more silence
or rather, less of you
i don't want you to walk away
from something like this
i don't want to abandon this
what we've worked so hard to get
and though my tired eyes won't open
they still see the pain harbored
in my heart
because i cannot bring you
the happiness you deserve
and if you want me to
i will bleed it out
and give all of it to you
all you have to do is say the word