i know it well:
all good things come to an end,
but it's hard to remember.
and i ebb and flow
in an endless expanse
dispersing my weight
on a lukewarm ocean.
perhaps there is beauty
in the way things grow and fall;
good times never last
but neither do bad,
yet i cannot share that sentiment
an acknowledgement of change
because this pit in my stomach
hurts like nothing i've ever felt
and the lump in my throat feels infinite.
i wonder if this is it
if this is who i am
if this is all i'll ever know;
the waves grow choppy under my weight,
turmoil feels sweet in an empty body,
anxiety reminds me that i'm alive.
and it almost feels like a cruel joke
because i can hear myself breathing
i know the comfort of ground under my feet
i can see how the earth moves with me
yet it all seems so far away.
does it ever change? for better or worse?
am i bound to this water, smothered by waves?
everything is an echo of what once was;
all i can count on is the heartbeat in my ears.