Feb 2023
A form of self-punishment:
not eating. Allowing myself to rot.
I need to rot every once in a while, af en toe. To remind myself of ...
..... [intermezzo] .....
yerba mate, the bladden likens itself as my mouth, spreading across my tongue as a wave and, with a morbid branching, increases towards my throat and deepest parts of my kidneys: safety [you sit there, in the deepest part of my kidneys, I keep you there, my husband, for safekeeping]
.... [ lude ... enter ... ] ....
something. I'm playing dead!
That's it : the cold, the outside, the exposure, the no where, the tears, the pangs, it's playing dead. I play dead. Here and there, now and then, af en toe, every few months, I play dead. Then I run back to my life, to my daddy, my husband, my love, where I am alive.
not eating. Allowing myself to rot.
I need to rot every once in a while, af en toe. To remind myself of ...
..... [intermezzo] .....
yerba mate, the bladden likens itself as my mouth, spreading across my tongue as a wave and, with a morbid branching, increases towards my throat and deepest parts of my kidneys: safety [you sit there, in the deepest part of my kidneys, I keep you there, my husband, for safekeeping]
.... [ lude ... enter ... ] ....
something. I'm playing dead!
That's it : the cold, the outside, the exposure, the no where, the tears, the pangs, it's playing dead. I play dead. Here and there, now and then, af en toe, every few months, I play dead. Then I run back to my life, to my daddy, my husband, my love, where I am alive.
